My mom was just here, visiting Pierre and I and Malaya, Julia, Sasha and Nathan in DC. My mother loved hanging out with Malaya, and I knew that she would rather spend time with her granddaughter than do anything else. Nevertheless, Pierre and I tried to keep her entertained when she was here for her 4 day stay.
On her first day in town, I took her to a memoir writing workshop in Bryant Park. I thought I would share some of the tips from the workshop just in case anyone else is interested in writing a memoir, or documenting family history. The instructor was Miranda McLeod, a local author and lecturer. She first talked generally about memoirs, and then gave us 30 minutes to write up something from our lives. Some people then shared their stories and Miranda gave them constructive feedback. My mom and I didn't share what we wrote. Some of the stories people shared were really good! I was impressed. My mom thinks some of them must already be established authors.
Here's some of the instructor's advice:
Memoirs can take various forms. They can be informal family histories, or a more traditional memoir focusing on the experiences of one person. The purpose of a memoir is to preserve.
My mom, Pierre and I are now thinking of trying to get the older members of our families to record their memories for future generations. We were thinking we could just record their stories with a tape recorder and then transcribe them to share with the rest of the family. Maybe I could get my Grandpa to record some of his stories!
Steps to writing a memoir:
1. Be yourself – capture the way you speak. 2. Speak freely – editing comes later. Don’t worry about hurting someone at this stage. 3. Think small
Identify a specific time period. Find small, vivid, concrete, self-contained memories to write about it. These memories are the stuff of memoir.
What you write does not have to be literally true. Memory does not work well enough to hope for complete accuracy.
You do not have to overexplain or describe every thought and detail. Let the reader figure some things out for themselves.
Your memoir can be written in an adult voice (your present self) or the voice in the time the instance occurred (your childish self).
Consider using humor writing. Self-deprecating sarcasm can allow you to get at uncomfortable truths.
Now, how do you go about actually sitting down and writing a memoir? The instructor suggested writing on a daily basis. Write down vivid, clear, concise memories. Do that every day for six months or so, and then take those memories and look at them all. You should notice themes, identify what’s interesting and figure out what can be deleted. Through these small, concrete memories, you can build a book.
Recommended reading:
On Writing Well (30th Anniversary Edition) by William Zinsser; HarperCollins Publishers The Elements of Style by William Strunk; Allyn & Bacon Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott; Anchor Books
Here's what we wrote:
Mom’s vignette
The tropical heat was upon us. We were packed in my sister’s private jeepney. I looked around me and saw the faces of my loved ones, deep in their own thoughts. There were my three offsprings and my son’s girlfriend. We had planned an outing – a picnic that would include snorkeling at a local beach. My sister and her family had planned it along with my brothers and their families. My older sister who was visiting from the US was also with us. I wanted to savor this moment in my mind, keep it forever in my inner photo album, never to be taken away from me by anyone. When you find a treasure in your life, it’s yours to keep forever.
My vignette
Sasha was always there for me. Always looking out for me, taking care of me, for as long as I can remember. We’d fight and say cruel things occasionally, but we’d always forgive and love each other again. She would try to protect me from any hurt the world could throw at me. And while she tried to shield me from disappointments, she also knew when to push me and encourage me.
The summer before my senior year of high school, I attended a workshop to help students prepare their college applications. We were working on our admissions essays and the instructor had given us examples of successful essays. I read those essays and felt intimidated and overwhelmed. There was no way I could write an essay like that. I tried writing, became frustrated, took a break, then tried again. I soon gave up again, and started to think acceptance to the college of my choice was impossible. I emerged out of my room crying and told my sister that there was no way I was going to be able to write an adequate essay. My sister listened patiently to me, then put a record on our turntable and played “Don’t Give Up” by Peter Gabriel. That was all it took. With that simple action, my sister told me that she believed in me and that she knew I could write a decent essay. I returned to my room, soothed, and churned out a first draft. I still cannot hear that song or think of that moment without getting a little weepy.
I really enjoyed the workshop. And it was free! I had another I love New York City moment, thinking about all the great, free stuff to do in the city. We also took my mother to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. Admission is free on Saturdays from 10-12! Pierre took these pictures. He takes the photos, I write up our adventures =) A lovely purple orchid. We thought the plant above my head looked wicked cool! Here's a tree from the garden's bonsai collection. My mom and I posing near the reflecting pool. I was aiming for a silly, dramatic pose. This just looks stupid. Oh well. A giant hybrid oak! Along one of the pathways was a Walk of Stars for famous people from or who've lived in Brooklyn. This leaf was for Barry Manilow. The Japanese garden. There were lots of fish, turtles, and even a loon in the Japanese garden. Here was a turtle sunning himself. He looked like Superman, extending his front and back legs as far as he could! Lovely waterfall.
Last weekend, Pierre and I headed to Brooklyn to go on a wild parrot safari, organized by a local parrot expert. There is a flock of wild green Quaker parrots (Myiopsitta monachus, also known as Monk Parakeets) that live in a soccer field in Brooklyn College. The story is that they were accidentally released when a crate from a shipment was opened at the airport in 1970. They were able to establish themselves and thrive in the urban environment. Here's a nice shot of one posing for us on a fence.
This is a video of the parrots feeding at the bottom of a tree. I was interested in seeing these local wild parrots after seeing the movie the Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill. Apparently there is another population that lives closer to where we live. Pierre and I are going to check out that spot soon. The parrots like to nest in really high spots, like the top of this lamppost for the soccer field. Each lamppost had its own parrot nest, hosting up to 20 parrots, their eggs, and hatchlings. No other species nests in such a high place, so they have no competition. They do not compete with the other birds. Here they are foraging peacefully amongst the pigeons and starlings. Another shot of the parrots feeding in the grass around the soccer field. We saw the parrots flying around, perching, and feeding. We also saw a crow fly toward one of the parrot nests and land on top of it, in search of some parrot eggs. The parrots freaked out about that and flew out of the nest. Eventually some flew back to defend the nest and we even saw a mockingbird become aggressive and attack the crow! It was really cool. Here's a shot of the soccer field where the parrots live. See how tall those lampposts are! The parrots don't have to worry about anyone climbing the posts to steal their babies or eggs. The parrots blend in perfectly with the leaves on this tree. Apparently you get more dramatic pictures of them in the winter when there's less cover. For the most part, the parrots' human neighbors like having them around, although some people have complained about the noise. But noisy parrots seem like nothing compared to the noise pollution of a big city! A nearby playground honored the parrots' place in the community with these metal silhouettes on the fence. The wild parrot tours are free and take place every month, so check out the wild parrot website if you've interested in seeing the parrots for yourself! Although Preston, our new cat, is very sensitive about having his belly touched, he likes to sprawl out on the couch like this. You are only allowed to touch his head, or scratch his belly with a back scratcher one of my aunties got me from the Philippines. He's a good cat, most of the time =) For Pierre's birthday last week, we went to a Mets game, which was fun. On Sunday, we went to Yankees Stadium for All-Star Sunday. We watched the Futures game and the celebrity softball game. That was entertaining. For the All-Star game, there are statues up around town for all the major league teams. I found the Padres statue in Union Square, so next we were on a quest for the Cubs statue. We finally found it after calling my lifeline, Julia. Here it is, in front of the New York Stock Exchange.
Last night, Pierre and I went to a WNBA game at Madison Square Garden. The New York Liberty hosted my team, the Washington Mystics. Unfortunately, the Mystics lost 56 - 77. So far, we've seen the Padres lose to the Yankees and the Mystics lose to the Liberty. I think the next sporting event we'll go to is the Yankees vs. the White Sox. Hopefully the White Sox will win that game! My brother bought me an annual membership to the Bronx Zoo for my birthday. Pierre and I went to their special Members' only evening to check out their new exhibit, Madagascar. The lemurs were really active and fun to watch.
Here's a video of the lemurs, looking like they are about to jump out to where all the people are standing.
Other than those adventures, I also went to Philadelphia on Monday and Tuesday to hang out with my siblings and baby Malaya. Hopefully I'll have some pictures from that trip soon. Oh, and I also went to some free film showings at one of the New York public libraries. I saw a silent film, Smilin' Through, from 1922. There was a pianist who accompanied the film. That was new to me, and really cool. Then I saw a Doris Day movie from 1951, the Lullaby of Broadway. I really enjoyed both films, and it made me want to watch more classics. Something I bet my Grandpa would like to do, so I'll wait to do that until my next trip to Michigan!
As some of you may know, one of my good friends just went through a horrible breakup last month. I have decided to share part of the story of their breakup because I find some aspects of it unbelievable. I will change the names of everyone to preserve their anonymity. My friend will be referred to as la pana, which is Kichwa for best friend. The ex-boyfriend will be referred to as Redenbacher.
Mi pana’s ex-boyfriend’s reason for the breakup was callous and shallow. And this happened after he had jerked her around for 2 ½ years. We were all, understandably, upset with him. Then he did another mind-boggling thing: he wrote an email to all of her friends and her brother. Who does that? Here is his email, which essentially says nothing:
I simply wanted to apologize to those of you that I met through la pana. Her recent emails showed me that I didn't just hurt her, but also her family & friends.
I know my behavior lately seems strange, and it is. I seem to be even more naive & thoughtless than I knew myself to be.
Please note that I did *not* include la pana in sending this email, since I don't think it would do her any good to hear from me...or to hear from you that I wrote you.
If you have any questions or just want to release your anger about this, feel free to respond.
Otra amiga--I sent you an email last Saturday b/c I wasn't sure la pana would tell anyone right away that we'd broken up & I wanted someone to call her often. Not that it validates my behavior, but I thought it may have gone to your junk mail so I figured I'd tell you.
Hermano--please forward this on to your mom: she is one of the main people I need to apologize to.
Thanks (not only on my behalf, because I understand if you don't want to do me any favors, but on la pana's & for all you'll do for her in the weeks & years to come). Again, I apologize--
Redenbacher
Simplemente quise pedir perdón de ellos de Uds. que conocí por la pana. Sus correos recientes me mostraron que yo no solo le hice daño a ella, pero a su familia y a sus amigos también.
Sé que mi comportamiento recientemente parece extraño, y lo es. Parezco aún más ingenuo que yo me sabía que era.
Por favor dáte cuenta que *no* incluí a la pana en mandar este correo, ya que no pienso que la haría ningún bien oír de mi...o oír de Uds. que les escribí.
Si tienen algunas preguntas o solo quieren soltar su enojo sobre este tema, por favor, háganlo por responderme.
Otra amiga--Té mandé un correo el sábado pasado porque yo no estaba seguro que la pana le diría a nadie en seguida que hayamos terminados y quise que alguien le llamara frecuentemente. No es que esa acción le hace válido a mi comportamiento, pero pensé que tal vez el mensaje fue a tu folleto de basura (direcciónes de correo extrangeras?). Entonces, pensé que te lo diría.
Hermano --Por favor, pasa este correo a tu mamá. Ella es una de las personas principales que le tengo que más pedir perdón.
Gracias (no solo por mi parte, porque entiendo si Uds. no me quieren hacer ningún favor, pero a favor de la pana y por todo lo que harán por ella en las semanas y años que vienen). Otra vez, les pido perdón--
Redenbacher
Redenbacher translated his dumb ass message into Spanish so that all who read his email would be able to understand it. I cannot say that I was “hurt” by Redenbacher’s actions, which he was apparently concerned about. I think most of us were angry and disappointed in him. One of our friends wrote him a brilliant response (there’s some curse words in here, so stop reading if you’ll be offended):
Dear Redenbacher, Fuck you. How dare you take it upon yourself to contact la pana's friends and family with your lame excuse for an apology which was really nothing more than an attempt to clear your own conscience. We don't care about you or how you feel - this is not about you, and, therefore, I do not accept your apology. In no way should you feel absolved of the cruel, unconscionable, inhumane way you treated someone we love very much (and, for that matter, someone who you claimed at one time to love) just because you sent this ridiculous email. You are nothing more than a chicken shit coward. You handled this situation poorly and immaturely and you should feel embarrassed and ashamed of yourself. You are 31 - GROW UP. Furthermore, you should do us all a favor and stay out of la pana's life. We all know that she is way too good for you.
Sincerely, Amiga of la pana PS. Don't ever contact any of us again - as far as I am concerned, you no longer exist.
We have all been doing what we can to support my friend during this tough time. My sister and I both sent her break up packages, and Sasha’s might have been better than mine because she included chocolate. I was also thinking of trying to get my mom to stand on Redenbacher's front lawn and give him the finger. Sortof like a reverse Say Anything. Then Redenbacher would have to call up my friend and say, "Um, there's this crazy little lady in front of my house and I can't make her go away."
I made my friend a break up mix, as did another friend of ours. I think my breakup mix was most excellent, although my brother disagreed strongly with some of my selections. But what does he know! My friend said it was perfect, so that's all that matters! Here’s what I included:
Fighter - Christina Aguilera Beautiful Liar - Beyonce and Shakira 5 Years - Björk Rootless Tree - Damien Rice As Cool As I Am - Dar Williams I Believe - Chris Isaak Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake You Oughta Know - Alanis Morisette Smile - Lily Allen Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars Tear In Your Hand - Tori Amos Not Today - Mary J. Blige and Eve Walk Away - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals Say Hello, Wave Goodbye - David Gray Sometimes It Be That Way - Jewel Heart's a Mess - Gotye The Rain - Oran "Juice" Jones
I realize that Heart's a Mess is not a breakup song, but my friend said she liked it, so I included it. Janet pointed out that I forgot I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. That is a bad omission, but the truth is that I just don’t have that song. Let me know what you think of my mix and if I left anything crucial out! I wonder if this is the new thing to do when a friend is going through a break up: make them a breakup mix cd. I’m curious about what other songs people have included on their breakup playlists.
Alright, that is enough gossip for one post. I found the whole episode rather interesting. So much drama! I wanted to make this post like Gossip Girl, but I don’t really watch the show. I think maybe Gossip Girl includes a lot of OMG! and signs her posts like this:
The above line is from a play Pierre and I saw over the weekend, the Marraige of Bette and Boo. The cast included Julie Hagerty, the stewardess from Airplane, and Heather Burns, Miss Rhode Island from Miss Congeniality. We got our tickets for only $10 through hiptix! They were regularly $60. Our seats were great too!
Pierre and I didn't really love the play, but there were parts of it that were good, like the priest's speech in the second act. He was talking about how frustrated he gets with the couples that come to him for marraige counseling. He said that the troubled couples he sees are usually people who got married before they really knew each other, and then they come to him and expect him to be able to solve their problems. Which is why he asked the question: Why did God make people stupid?
Pierre and I are becoming regular theatergoers. We saw Avenue Q with Mike, and next we're going to see Damn Yankees with my mom.
The other highlight of our 4th of July weekend was adopting Preston Tyrone Bull-Rickard from a local animal shelter.
Here he is enjoying his new digs.
He has the prettiest green eyes! He's 3 years old, declawed, and spent 8 months in his cage at the animal shelter before we adopted him. He seems to be pretty content now, demanding attention and then promptly ignoring us. For the 4th of July, Pierre and I went down to Coney Island for the International Hot Dog eating contest! Here are the "warriors", getting ready to see how many hot dogs (and buns) they could eat in 10 minutes. Chowing down! The red-haired guy in the center is Takeru Kobayashi from Japan. He had won the competition six years in a row until Joey Chestnut from California took the title from him last year.
The commentators from ESPN were hilarious! The whole thing was rather disgusting, but I couldn't see anything from where I was standing because I'm short =( Here's the ESPN clip, which includes great insight like: "Lance Armstrong will perhaps date Jennifer Aniston. It's gotta be in the cards." and "Whatever happens here will change our world."
The top 2 leaders, Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi were tied at 59 hot dogs at the end of 10-min, so they had the first-ever "dog-off" - whoever could eat 5 dogs the quickest won. Joey Chestnut, the crowd favorite, won. This clip includes some more funny comments, like: "I'm sorry, I'm so excited here!"
Here's where we were in the crowd. There were over 40,000 spectators! So that is why I couldn't see anything.
Here's Takeru Kobayashi showing off his engorged belly after the contest. Gross! We went down to a pier in Brooklyn for the big Macy's fireworks show. That was cool, because the lights from the fireworks would reflect off of the buildings in Manhattan and make really sweet patterns. After the fireworks, we wandered around a little bit. Pierre tried out different exposure times with his camera.
Here's a shot of the Brooklyn Bridge with the Manhattan skyline in the background.
We also took my mother to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. Admission is free on Saturdays from 10-12! Pierre took these pictures. He takes the photos, I write up our adventures =)
A lovely purple orchid.
We thought the plant above my head looked wicked cool!
Here's a tree from the garden's bonsai collection.
My mom and I posing near the reflecting pool.
I was aiming for a silly, dramatic pose. This just looks stupid. Oh well.
A giant hybrid oak!
Along one of the pathways was a Walk of Stars for famous people from or who've lived in Brooklyn. This leaf was for Barry Manilow.
The Japanese garden.
There were lots of fish, turtles, and even a loon in the Japanese garden. Here was a turtle sunning himself. He looked like Superman, extending his front and back legs as far as he could!
Lovely waterfall.
